From This Life

It is 1993 April 22

I never knew how much I would love the air

Or how the first swallow of oxygen would make my heart sing

I didn’t know I would hate the bright light

Or how everyone is so loud

I hadn’t realized how her look would make me feel,

How her touch was the only safety I found

I never knew how much I would love the innocent world,

In all its simplicity, the blue sky and the green grass

I didn’t know I would hate the dirt of people,

Or all the scum that flies in their words

I hadn’t realized the world was so mean,

And that one day they would hate me too

I never knew how much I would love the noises of people,

Or the sound of my own voice when I laughed

I didn’t know how much I would hate rejection,

And the look people give when they’re judging you

I hadn’t realized how soft my soul would be,

Or how gentle my heart could sing

I never knew how much I loved being loved,

And the smiles and laughter of the people I saw

I didn’t know I would hate the smell of war,

Or the pain that people you trust can inflict

I hadn’t realized how hard it would be,

To watch the world go by against my will

I never knew how much I loved my family,

And all their chaos, until it was gone

I didn’t know I would hate how much it hurts,

To watch everything I earned be thrown away

I hadn’t realized I would be so soft,

And that my heart wouldn’t heal so quickly

I never knew how much I would love security,

And the feeling I get when I am safe

I didn’t know I would hate being tossed about,

Like a salad ready to be dressed and eaten

I hadn’t realized I would one day find peace,

And I would know, everything would be alright