Clarity

It's not fair what you've done to me
Making me fall from so high
I didn't expect such a harsh landing
And now I'm laying in the sand
Looking up at the stars
Thinking that it's your fault
That I'm sitting in the mud
Lost and confused in thought
It's too hard for me to focus
Because while your standing there
All I see and hear is you
You don't understand the power you have
A young girl should never be so deceived
And yet I am and I'm not mad
I kind of like being cloudy
As long as it's with you
It's okay I don't need my clarity

You'll Never Know

I am tired, exhausted from the pain
And I complain about the cold inside me
As I lay my head across my empty bed
I'm thinking about all the time that I've lost
With what I thought might be love
You'll never know what it felt like to me
To hold your hand or kiss your cheek
And that flutter that I got when I wore your coat
It's too much for me but I don't forget
You'll never know what it felt like to me
To be in the safe embrace that was your arms
You'll never know that for me it was real
And that sometimes I still get chills
But I know and I remember yet
All the feelings I had on those nights
The ones we spent by each others side
But the whole time you were telling me lies
And I thought you loved me
But you were lying to me then too
So you'll never know what it felt like to me
Because you never did care

The Words To Say

I'm lost inside my own head
Writing down lines that make no sense
Not sure where the words are that I wanted said
So I sit inside my mind where its all suspense
But I'm slowly sinking through the thoughts inside
Hoping that someone will pull me out of this pond
But instead I sat and sat and cried
Waiting for you to say something, for you to respond
Because I'm not sure of myself, I'm sorry to say
It's just me, and I'm confused by my feelings
I don't wanna hurt you or lead you astray
But I'm afraid of the past and all my failings
I'm not good at finding the words I need
And sometimes what comes out is a jumbled mess
I don't know how to let the words slide, how to be freed
The feelings that are held here I have no way to express
So I will sit waiting for the quiet, the ever welcome silence

Watching

He is watching me. He doesn't know that I know he is watching me. But he is. And when I move to sharply or look up to quickly he stops watching. I try to sit still. Because he doesn't know that I like that he is watching. When I glance up our eyes meet briefly. But it's not the same as knowing that he watches me. So I don't move. And I just wait. For the moment when he will notice sometimes I watch him too.

Just Breathe

Though some may say this seems the end
I can only see whats still left ahead
The places I will go and the things I will see
No one will stop me from being what I can be
The life I lived sometimes seems far away
But that's because I'm moving at lightning speed
Sometimes I have to stop just to remember
All the things that I would otherwise forget
While everyone else waits to leave the nest
I'm already gone and quickly moving on
I can see the world as a colorful blur as it goes by
There's never any time to stop and see
Because I've got to keep going
There's too much to do, too many places to be
I try to be me, but sometimes its to hard
You see, I'm only me when I stop to breathe
And on those days I can smile and laugh
Some day those days will be my everyday
But for now I keep climbing, I keep looking
And one day I will find what I'm searching for
On that day I will stop to see and then I will breathe

Ferris Wheel

Riding on a Ferris Wheel
Not sure which direction you go
Around or Up
Down or In
Riding, Riding, until the night ends
It doesn't matter which way you go
No one knows where you will be thrown

Riding on a Ferris Wheel 
Circles, Circles until your sick
It isn't always good to keep the same
So it stops and goes the other way
Up and down, Up and down
Round and round, round and round
Until you've lost what you were trying to find

Riding on a Ferris Wheel
No one really in charge
Telling the machine which way to turn
Sick and tired, hungry and done
But it's scary to say stop
So it keeps going no end in sight

Riding on a Ferris Wheel
There's no one else around but you
Spinning, spinning out of control
There's no one at the reins
There's no one there to tell it to slow
Only you are in sight leaving you in charge
You stop the flight.